Why Am I So Pissed Off?

The first thing my wife asked me when she read my first foray into Webdom..."Why are so pissed off?" She had a good point. I guess I'm mad because I'm so late in getting involved with this internet thing. Why couldn't I have built a site in 1998 like every body else and been rich by now?

"If it's so easy, just build one yourself and then you'll be rich like everyone else." she said.

Aaahhhh. The little wife with all of her naivete, big doe eyes blinking up at me. She doesn't realize the truth. The universe has conspired to keep ME out of the internet. THEY don't want me to get in and make my cyber millions.

"Why did you make a blog anyway?" she asked as if she had an ulterior motive. "It's just going to be something else that winds up cluttering up the garage like that piece of shit boat with the wheels on it that you bought...when are you going to get that thing fixed?"

I knew she had a hidden agenda...she is strong with the dark side of the The Force.

"Pinki, it's not a piece of shit, Love...It's a 1970 Sperry Rand Wedge and as soon as I get it running...."

She had already left by this time but her incredulity had struck a nerve. Why AM I messing around with a blog?

Poor Me

OK, that was easy enough. I just blogged for the first time. I am a web expert...meaning, that for years I have surfed the net and bought a lot of junk from complete strangers all over the world but not accomplished much else. I LOVE the internet. As an avid infoholic, I can spend hours in front of my computer cruising around looking for the latest nothing. You'd think by this time, I'd know a hell of a lot more than I do about the net but the honest truth is, I've never learned HTML, I've never programmed, I've never information architected, and most embarrassingly, I've NEVER made a dime off the internet. I am officially the LAST man on earth who's never made any eMoney.

Every time I turn on the TV or pick up a magazine or sit down at my computer, another story of an instantly successful netrepreneur is what I see. There must have been a universal meeting on making great gobs of internet money that I was not invited to. Where the hell was I when people learned to do this? How the hell have I managed to stay poor while millions and millions and bagillions of others are quitting their crappy assed jobs, working from home and buying Ferraris?

Well, I have a solution. I'll turn to my old friend, the one who knows everything. The internet. A quick Google search for "internet money" should do the trick.

Good News Everyone!!!

There are 56,900,000 internet sites that will teach me definitively how to get rich online!!! Fanfuckintastic! Cash Money 2.0 should be rolling in by this time tomorrow. Let me get out my credit card...